


maaari bang mahiram ang sandali?

by haede



Series: mula sa pagsara, hanggang sa pagmulat ng mga mata [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Oikawa Tooru-centric, i like hurting myself, i love these two so much, missing iwaoi hours, purely self indulgent, song lyrics title because i'm such a sucker for those
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27087166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haede/pseuds/haede
Summary: Oikawa remembers, but he also remembers of why he shouldn't.(title translation: "can i borrow a moment of your time?")
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: mula sa pagsara, hanggang sa pagmulat ng mga mata [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982467
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	maaari bang mahiram ang sandali?

**Author's Note:**

> i’m not really expecting for anyone to notice this but i wrote this entirely on a whim so excuse my mistakes,, it is almost 3am and my mind wouldn't shut up abt iwaoi
> 
> i would recommend listening to ikaw by autotelic while reading ><

Oikawa was feeling too overwhelmed for the past week. He didn’t feel the exhaustion of life going by so fast that so much happened in a blink of an eye, he didn’t feel the restlessness of all the looming deadlines creeping up to him, he didn’t feel the burning passion he always promised to keep to himself when he’s overthinking everything during the nights where he’s just laying down and can’t sleep, he doesn’t feel the excitement he’s supposed to have because he’s had this unquenchable thirst to learn and improve every day. He does feel happy, and sad, and irritated among others, but only to some extent.

Oikawa was overwhelmed of not knowing what to feel at all. It was as if life was becoming monotone.

He’s not behind in his studies, in his assessments and other requirements. He’s doing well, as a matter of fact, so it was kind of baffling for Oikawa to feel this kind of way. Usually, he’d just turn up a random upbeat playlist while working on his uni homework or sorting out his notes but even though Ariana Grande’s greedy is playing on the highest volume, he just can’t seem to get into the mood.

Oikawa sighed. “Oh well, this 𝘪𝘴 college. I have to experience this kind of days also.” he mumbled to himself, pouting as he saw that it was almost two in the morning and noticed that he’s not even halfway done, pouting even more.

He can almost hear the gruff voice telling him off to stop being stubborn and get some damn rest. Oikawa chuckles softly at the irony of how he easily gets pissed even before the other utters the stupid nicknames back then that somehow grew onto him, because now he would have given anything to hear it again.

Oikawa shook his head in an attempt to clear his head, and resumed to his unfinished work that was starting to get on his nerves. He already had half a mind on just giving up and messaging Akaashi to tutor him later, in the proper and acceptable hours of the morning, when he accidentally dropped the pencil he was holding on to and watched it helplessly rolling under the table. 

He curses at his clumsy self and dropped to the floor, one arm feeling up the floor for that stupid pencil when he felt something different. He carefully took it out underneath the mat it was stuck from and saw a piece of torn paper he thought he’d never seen again.

It was a torn section of a to do list from a journal he can loosely remember, with the scribbled words,

\- 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘵𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 𝘢𝘵 8 𝘢𝘮 (𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦’𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘢𝘺)  
\- 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘺𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 (𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘺 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘺𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢)  
\- 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 (𝘥𝘰 𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘬 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥)  
\- 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘴 (𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴)  
\- 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 (𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴, 𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘉𝘍 )  
\- 𝘣𝘶𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘦 (𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦)

Tears threatened to escape Oikawa’s eyes, snorting at all the snarky side comments he just couldn’t control to keep to himself, even on paper. 

Oikawa remembers this. He remembers how it was their last night sleeping side by side, on the same bed, and he couldn’t doze off at all. The one beside him was already off to dreamland holding onto Oikawa tightly, and he couldn't blame him. But, Oikawa couldn’t miss the remaining seconds counting down until they inevitably parted ways. So Oikawa slowly got up, made sure that the other was still asleep and walked around. Carefully tiptoeing on the familiar feeling of rug under the soles of his feet, looking mindlessly at all the minor things and miniscule details that made up the room — his comfort zone for the entirety of his teenage years, from the stacks of forgotten comics tossed aside to the godzilla posters including small alien printouts Oikawa had sneakily posted on the walls. He doubts it was remained unnoticed, but smiles absentmindedly at how the markings of their height by the door grew through the years.

The old secondhand guitar was lying against the wall, where it always has been, and Oikawa remembers feeling his heart hurt at the thought of how he's gonna miss the gang jam sessions, especially during the walk home filled with thoughtless yet at the same time meaningful conversations between them every night, racing up to this very room, where he could be the only one listening to the man singing his favorite songs, where he thought that that voice only belonged to his ears. He remembers fighting over what should be on the playlists they would spontaneously make together and all the nagging at how Oikawa should just shut up. He remembers the whirlwind of emotions at how everything was changing so fast, he wasn't even prepared. He was never prepared, and he didn't think he had courage to say farewell to his only solace in this world.

He remembers how he spotted the black journal neatly placed at the top of the desk, never having the chance to take a peek inside because it was always guarded by the other and would always threaten Oikawa to spread embarrassing photos of him, if he so much as goes near it.

Oikawa was never doubtful of how that threat could be as truthful as it could get, so he behaved, much to the other's amusement. But it was nearing three hours left before saying good bye, and Oikawa's curiosity got the best of him.

He only managed to open to a random page when he heard stirring on the bed, and he immediately turned to look. When he was sure the coast was clear, he returned to the journal again and was astonished at what he found. It was all so random, ranging from song lyrics Oikawa would have him sing over and over again, to curses here and there which made him laugh heartily because he could just feel the irritated feeling radiating off the almost incomprehensible yet endearing writing, to random comments Oikawa would make that he didn't know would be of great importance to the other, like not putting too much salt to the egg omelet when the other would bring sometimes during lunch because Oikawa couldn't stand too salty food. If Oikawa remembers correctly, he hadn't been complaining that much towards the end of senior year, happily stealing bites from the other's bento. 

Oikawa opens a page where a particular to do list was written dated on the day before the graduation ball. The day before his soulmate confessed to him. Oikawa wasn't finished looking through the journal when he heard mumbling behind him, and in a state of panic, he quickly tore the page, tucking it in his pocket, in hopes of storing the strong surge of fondness and all those feelings welling up in his heart. In hopes of keeping a piece of time where Oikawa knew he was at the happiest that he can be.

Oikawa then dropped on the floor, the thousands of memories he tried to push at the back of his mind for a long time forcing himself to feel so much at the same time, making him weak. Tears were now flowing down his face freely as he made the realization, head rested against on the edge of the desk, hand gripped tightly on the torn paper. 

Oikawa knew that it would come to this. He held himself up too strong for quite a long time, so Oikawa was confused with how he was breaking down now of all times, heaving in breaths. He was fine. Was this the reason he's been feeling so lost and vulnerable these past few weeks? Was he unconsciously letting himself miss something that he wasn't allowed to long for anymore?

Was it wrong for him to imagine the same arms emitting the warmth he so craved of holding him from falling apart, when he was the one who selfishly broke free a long time ago?

Oikawa didn't know how much time has flown by, didn't know what compelled him to make such a rash decision. He didn't know when he got a hold of his phone, his hands moving on autopilot as he dialed the number his fingers are typing in muscle memory (he knew it was useless in deleting it), didn't know what he was thinking until the phone on his hand began ringing.

When the line beeped, he absentmindedly uttered, “Iwa-chan?”

A beat.

“Hello?” A sweet voice of an unfamiliar girl answered back.

Oikawa hung up.

**Author's Note:**

> (not proofread!!) thanks for reading til the end!! im planning to do a part 2 but idk yet,,,and im also itching to write tskkg so i hope it won't be as shitty as this
> 
> have a nice day! <3


End file.
